I Have No Regrets for the Life I Lack

Album: The Better Life
Artist: 3 Doors Down
Release Year: 2000

Not as much to say about this one. Not because it's bad, but just because it isn't very unique. It's another mainstream rock album, lost in the sea of so many other clones. So it's hard to chisel any particular album out of the mess around it; so difficult to scour it for marks of identity. But I shall try.

One thing about 3 Doors Down is that their music carries a very slick, polished feel, so the songs are smooth and they go down easy because of it. Of course, the songs are still difficult to discern from one another, but that's okay if they're of decent quality-- which most of these are. There's also this laid-back, mildly irreverent atmosphere that I really like, so that's an extra point.

The songs that stick out to me are either really good or really bad. Starting with the bad, there's "Smack," which tries so ridiculously hard to sound "badass" (which an alternative group usually cannot pull off) that it makes me laugh every time I hear it. "Down Poison" has no melody, so that's another turd. But the lively, defiant duo of "Life of My Own" and Better Life" are pretty good. The chorus of "I'll follow my own way/ and I'll live on to another damn day" from "Life of My Own" is actually memorable and evokes a bit of real feeling, so of course it's one of the stronger tracks. I won't say much about "Kryptonite," because everyone already knows it. Suffice it to say that few songs from 2000 wrap up a summer night of cruising and having a good time better than that one does.

Still, though, I don't listen to this album very often. Why should I? Nothing about this one screams, "Listen to ME, as opposed to ALL your other albums!" So it mainly collects dust, but I doubt the band cares. i already bought the disc, after all.

Overall Rating: 6/10
Best Songs:
Kryptonite
Life of My Own



Album: Let It Bleed
Artist: The Rolling Stones
Release Year: 1969

Before I picked up this album, I was quite a doubting Thomas in the Stones department. An hour later, I was still a doubting Thomas (and still am, but not as much). But I had a bit of hope, because I could tell on first listen that this album is insanely good.

I haven't heard close to all of the Stones' recorded output, but I still get the feeling this is one of the most diverse albums they put out. But what's surprising is, even with all that diversity, the album is so coherent and flows so naturally from one song to the next. It's a complete mural of different moods: some yearning, some raunchy, some dark, some hopeful. This is one of those records that crosses that great threshold, leaving the "group of songs" domain and entering the "experience" territory.

So I guess I'll still have to rant about the individual songs, then, since each is excellent in its own right. The album opens with the famous "Gimme Shelter," a haunting, portentous rock 'n' roll tune with some great backing vocals by Merry Clayton. When she sings the "Heeey! MURDER!" verse, and her voice cracks, that is a moment of pure rock 'n' roll passion. Forget Elvis or Led Zeppelin- that moment is real. And it gives me chills every time. That's not easy to do.

Then there's a cover of Robert Johnson's "Love in Vain," which is pretty but not the best on here. Then they re-make their old number "Honky Tonk Women" in a more down-home format with "Country Honk." Fun song there, too, but I perfer the original. "Live with Me" is another one of the band's trashier numbers, asking a girl to fill her "place between the sheets." It brims with energy and has hilarious lyrics. This flows into the gentler "Let It Bleed," which still retains that hint of danger from tracks one and four. It's laid-back and sexual, yet that undercurrent is ever-present...

Until it's released on "Midnight Rambler!" This song is the msot unique of the album, beginning with an ominous saxophone riff and venemous lines from Mick Jagger, who tells us of the murderer who "don't give no hoot or no warning." He delivers the lines so well that it sounds like he could be the Rambler himself! Then there's a jam section, during which the tension builds and builds and builds, before Jagger returns and belts out the last verse with even more fury than before, screaming, "I'll stick my knife right down your throat, baby, AND IT HURTS!" Epic.

"You've Got the Silver is, in my opinion, superior to "Love in Vain," and "Monkey Man" is another wild rocker with a classic piano intro and a nearly insane feel to it. The album closes with the famous "universalist" anthem "You Can't Always Get What You Want." To be honest, the Stones don't resonate with me very often, but here I'll gladly make an exception. I can say I really feel the fellowship and goodwill with which Jagger sings this song, and it's also very strong melodically. You'll be singing it all day.

So there are only great songs on here, and they're so great together that they made me go out and get another Stones album, when previously I wouldn't touch them. That alone is worth something. But it's also one of the greatest rock and roll albums ever, because it takes those great melodies and wraps them together with all the passion, cynicism, lust, hedonism, and brotherhood that makes rock music what it is. And how could you resist a cover like that?

Overall Rating: 10/10

Best Songs:
Gimme Shelter
Let It Bleed
Midnight Rambler
Monkey Man
You Can't Always Get What You Want

As I Duck a Thrown Packet of Herbal Tea

Is it really that helpful to walk instead of driving? I mean, if your destination is close enough to walk to, how much gas and carbon emissions are you really saving?

I Make No Apology for Lacking a Life

Album: Let It Be
Artist: The Beatles
Release Year: 1970

I really don't understand why this album gets ignored so often- so what if they didn't technically finish it? It's complete enough for me, and does a fine job of fulfilling Paul's goal for the project: to "get back" to the band's roots. Indeed, the older styles are apparent throughout, and the disc is none the worse for it, despite what the cynics may tell you. Yet the "reactionary" approach does not tell the whole story. There is a simultaneous element of maturity on this album as well, and I don't mean the "putting orchestras behind us and singing sad songs" kind of maturity. I mean "relying less on quirkiness or pure aesthetic appeal, and more on toning it down and letting the music speak for itself" (Disclaimer: That is not to say that Let It Be contains no quirks or aesthetic appeal; nor do I imply The Beatles ever needed to tone it down, except on a select few songs). These songs just have a different feel to them, and I like it. I really like it.

So, now for the actual songs. Some lean toward "adult contemporary," but who cares? They make for the best adult contemporary we're likely to ever hear. "Two of Us" is a pleasant, countryish song by Paul, which I can just hear at the beginning of some lame romantic comedy (still a good song, though). "Dig a Pony" is, in my opinion, one of the most underrated Beatles songs. It's got a lazy, "hakuna matata" air about it, and it's positively entrancing with John's clever lyrics and guitar work.

The ballads are of varying quality. First, there's John's universalist theme "Across the Universe," which is pretty but pales in comparison to the heavenly "Let It Be." Sorry, though, Paul- "The Long and Winding Road" is horrendous. Too much orchestration makes the whole thing sound so ridiculously sappy that I never make it past the first few seconds.

But then there are the bluesy numbers, where the band really "gets back." "I've Got a Feeling" and "One After 909" are completely irresistible, and George's tunes are solid too. And of course, "Get Back" is good, lighthearted, rockin' fun. So forget anything the haters say- this is easily one of the five best Beatles albums. Even if I have to skip past one of the songs.

Overall Rating: 9/10

Best Songs:
Dig a Pony
Let It Be
I've Got a Feeling
Get Back

Because I REALLY Lack A Life

Alright, Album Review Number Two:

Album: GodWeenSatan: The Oneness
Artist: Ween
Release Year: 1990

You know that kid who sat in the back of your fourth-grade class, blowing spitwads and mooning the girls at recess? That kid's got nothing on Ween, and the band's debut is the best proof of their comedic genius. This is a collection of 29 (if you have the reissue like I do) ruthless parodies of just about every musical genre you can think of, with each track taking the cliches of its respective genre and blowing them to ridiculous, hilarious proportions. (Well, not each track, because a good number of them are just regular Ween tunes, but those are excellent too.) The songs brutally parody the worst aspects of their genres, but they also emulate the best, making the album a hell of a lot better than one would expect.

That's right- each track is also a good independent song in its own right. Not only are Gener and Deaner comedians; they're also gifted songwriters. I enjoy every bit of the nine-minute Price spoof "L.M.L.Y.P," and not just because of the hilariously-vulgar lyrics. The jamming is awesome, and the song may be the most infectious on the album. Conversely, I also love the minute-and-a-half "Fat Lenny," with its nonsensical ramblings about the identity of the titular character. Even the not-so-musical numbers are great: during "Bumblebee," for instance, I can just see the guy fleeing across the yard, legs pinwheeling a if in a cartoon, eyes and mouth bulging, screaming "AAAHHHH SHIIIIIIIIT! BUMBLEBEE!" Classic.

But I shouldn't ramble about the individual songs. That would be like spoiling the punchline of an exquisite joke. To be honest, some songs do grate on me, so I lose interest in those, but most are extremely catchy. And yes, this album is every bit as immature as you now think it is. That's the beauty of it.

Overall Rating: 8/10
Best Songs:
Fat Lenny
Wayne's Pet Youngin'
Nicole
L.M.L.Y.P.

Because I Lack A Life

Until I can really get the ball rolling on this, I'm going to pad this blog with what will likely become a horde of album reviews. Note that I'm far from being a music expert (I don't even play an instrument), but I think the layman's opinion is just as important. After all, isn't it the layman who goes to the concerts and buys the albums?

That's not to say I applaud mainstream pop music (I despise it), but simply that I don't really buy the whole "ivory tower" theory of artistic elitism. And even pop music has its place: it shows us how bad music can get, and makes us grateful that at least our favorite bands haven't sunk that low.

So, to begin, my humble procedure: I will put my Zune on "shuffle," and when a song comes up whose complete album I own, I shall review that album. Now, let's forget that last cumbersome sentence and GET ON WITH IT!

Album: Quadrophenia
Artist: The Who
Release Year: 1973

Forget Tommy- this is the Who's magnum opus, at least in the "spiritual" sense. This is THE album to represent all the different aspects of The Who and meld them into a single reckless, romantic, introspective, and timeless entity. It's bold, grandiose, sincere, and enthralling. It's the story of a young "mod" named Jimmy, whose family problems, drug abuse, and identity crises lead him to abandon all he once held dear.

In all honesty, the storyline is hard to follow unless you read the booklet, yet the lyrics are still too blatant at times ("I've got to move with the fashion or be outcast"). Normally, I would also criticize the bombastic production, but here I don't mind it. It's all forgiveable, because the album overflows with true feeling, and the melodies are mostly great enough to justify all the pomp. Plus, Pete Townshend weaves all the themes together so well that we feel all Jimmy's mood changes exactly when they occur. He even repeats the same mantra, which Jimmy apparently recites during his various identity crises, throughout the album: "I ride a GS scooter with my hair cut neat. I wear my wartime coat in the wind and sleet." It's done so well that it's incredibly cathartic when we finally come to Jimmy's "revelation" in the closing track.

But I've said precious little about the songs themselves. I actually think the songs are hard to distinguish from one another at times, but they're very rarely boring in any case. They rock HARD, and they balladeer beautifully. Plus, the album is meant to be a unified experience, so who's gonna listen to this on "shuffle?" Not me. That said, I would still accuse this album of causing "listening fatigue." The songs really run together around the time we reach "Sea and Sand," and the whole "emotional resonance" trick is weakened until "Love, Reign O'er Me." (Isn't it our fatigue, though, that matches Jimmy's world-weariness and makes us love the final track even more? Maybe Pete's even smarter than I already think he is.)

Whatever. I have tons more to say about this album, and yet I find those things very hard to articulate- mainly because of the sheer volume of this piece. But I imagine Pete Townshend had tons MORE to say when he wrote "Quadrophenia." He was analyzing the entire culture from which his band sprang. He was analyzing himself and his place in the world. So what if he went a little overboard?

Overall Rating: 9/10

Best Songs:
Cut My Hair
The Punk and the Godfather
I'm One
Love, Reign O'er Me

Reloaded!

Time to reboot BrainSewage. And this time, I actually have ideas for posts. Let's begin with a rehash of last time:

I am no poet; I am no arrogant writer elite. The opening simply seems to call for a more fine-tuned style, a futile metaphor for the fine overture that precedes a most elegant performance.


I distinctly remember sitting in science class my freshman year of high school, thinking about nothing in particular, when I realized I needed a drink. This simple thought resulted in:

I'm thirsty.---> Sprite. Obey your thirst.---> Sprites. Aren't those the cheap 2-D pictures they use in video games?---> Today's picture day, isn't it?---> Pictures suck.

So, by the Transitive Property, thirst=pictures suck. There's an example of how this blog will likely work.


So take your seats, O invisible spectators- your admission is of no concern. The show is about to begin.